It's strange to be back from the school trip.
School starts back up the day after our return, even though we arrived so late at night. I guess they figure that if kids want to sleep in, we'll be tardy, given that nobody cares much about being on time anyway. It's very kind of the school to give the accessibility necessary for its student body to be composed of the sort of people it invites, not deducting points for missed classes. As long as the work gets done; and it's really not a whole lot of work, since I've pretty much caught up on what I missed in three months already while keeping up with the new.
It isn't the schoolwork which makes graduates of Korekara capable, it's the fact that we learn how to live. I guess maybe that's why it has that reputation of being so dangerous, too. Anyone can take on real life if they've survived a high school full of people who, just like them, have already experienced some sort of trauma. It's a good thing, though, that those employers who take Korekara at its word for its prestige don't find out how lenient the academic curriculum really is. Though, I don't feel like I'm actually missing out on any information, even if the method of teaching it is different. Maybe I won't remember anything since I'm just learning it for long enough to do the work, but if my middle school experience is anything to go on, I wouldn't remember traditional schooling any better.
I don't have any directives yet, on what I'm supposed to do this week, at least not during the school day. I find myself looking for someone to eat lunch with again, and end up with Haruka and Takeda, since I can't seem to find Amai. They're sitting in the cafeteria, sharing one meal which is on the larger side of portions. I walk up and wave to them, "Hi there. Fukui-chan, Takeda-chan, is it okay if I sit here with you?
"Ahh, Hako-chan! It's more than okay," Haruka nods, pulling out a chair, then gestures between Takeda and me, "Takkun! You remember Hako-chan, right?"
"Hm?" Takeda looks up, then checks her fingers. I did notice on the school trip that she'd taken my advice of using colored elastics, but I was too worried then to actually feel proud that I'd been able to help her, "Ah, yes! Good to see you again, Hako-chan! It seems you're always helping me out."
"I'm always helping everybody out! So, how's the flute practice going?" I ask, trying to make small talk with this pair I don't know very much about.
"Hm, pretty good, thanks for asking!" Takeda grins, balling up her hands, "How about your whole... Helping people deal?"
"I can't tell for sure, but I don't think it's going badly," I answer with a bit of a laugh.
"Oh that's wonderful to hear!" Haruka smiles, holding her hands to her cheeks, "I think it's almost romantic, in a way, to have a goal like that... Ah, am I using the word 'romantic' correctly there?"
"Yes, in one of its definitions anyway. Romantic is a weird word that way, it can mean all sorts of things even though it's just the same word the whole time," I hold a finger to my chin as I think about this, "It can mean being in love with somebody, or just being somebody who's hopeful and optimistic. I guess those go hand in hand, though, because if you fall in love you're hopeful and optimistic that you'll be together forever."
"Either that or you're just a nihilist," Somebody else speaks up, and I turn to see one of my classmates, a member of the science club named Rei Akabane, "And you have a pessimistic outlook. You want to be together forever but you're hopeless when it comes to the idea of it."
 |
| Rei Akabane |
"Well, that's a sad way of looking at being in love. Why be in love if that's the way you feel about it?" I question, screwing up my face in confusion.
"It's not like people who feel that way can help it," She answers, staring off at a far wall, "But some people are simply unobtainable, in a romantic sense. Yet, people still fall for the unattainable, and it's really quite sad. That's when love is neither hopeful nor optimistic, and it's just another tragedy that we as those who've been selected to lead the path into the future must endure."
"That sounds really unpleasant," I frown at her, clasping my hands together, "Who do you have these unachievable feelings toward, Akabane-san?"
"I can't say," She shakes her head and starts to walk away, "Someone who's so wrapped up in work, there's no time to show tenderness to anybody, I suppose."
"You suppose?" I question her again, but at this point she's already gone. I sigh and return my attention to my own lunch.
"That was weird," Haruka notes, picking up a tomato, "I wonder what Akabane-senpai's deal is. Butting in to a conversation which isn't hers just to offer a pessimistic worldview?"
"I agree," Takeda nods, and I realize the way that Haruka worded her statement. She included a recap right there, so that even if the event had already slipped Takeda's mind, she would understand the situation anyway. I can see why these two get along; Haruka's very conscious of Takeda's disability and works to accommodate her without it seeming out of place.
"It was weird, yeah, but not that weird, considering," I shrug it off, "We are at a school which invites people who've been through some pretty bad stuff, almost exclusively. Can you really expect anyone to react normally to just about any social situation?"
"That is a good point," Haruka agrees with me, then looks around the cafeteria, "If you think about it, it's a wonder any of us have managed to make friends at all. I guess we ought to just encourage everybody at every turn!"
"We should, probably! That's what I'm trying to do these days, though I might not be the most efficient at it since I'm not an adult and can't be a role model but at least I can be a good friend, and I think that's close enough," I can't help but laugh a bit at myself. What am I doing with my life? My best, that's what. I just have to hope that my best is enough. Suddenly, the bell rings for classes to return to session, so I say goodbye to Haruka and Takeda, and wait during class for Fucko to give me some direction. I need to know what I'm doing, because if left to my own devices, I definitely wouldn't follow this very specific set of instructions. Too specific for me to happen upon it by coincidence.
Okay, Box, today is the day that you're going to talk to a very difficult girl. Natsuki Nagata. As I said, she has her reasons to be civil towards you, but that doesn't mean talking to her will be easy.
I'm definitely up for the challenge, even if I did hear that Natsuki is a bully. She's a third year, and if she has enough of a social circle to beget cruelty towards others, she'll probably know more about this school than introverts like Mishio or Sayuri, and maybe be more willing to part with that information than the council president who has a duty to maintain confidentiality. Yumiko could only tell me so much about the graduating class of 2015, who in fact, never did graduate.
I look for Natsuki first in the science room, but she's nowhere to be seen. I ask her clubmates, though, and Maka informs me that she's gone to the back of the school, where the dumpsters are. I think that's a bit odd of course, but I make my way over there, and Natsuki is standing there. She's got her robotic arm holding down the lid of a dumpster as she works to drill nails into it to seal it shut. I frown and walk up to her, "Nagata-senpai? What are you doing?"
"Sealing this dumpster so that the trash stays inside," She answers, setting down the drill gun to put her real hand on her hip, "Why are you here?"
"I was looking for you," I explain, then look at the dumpster in question and note that it's not the one connected to the chute for the debris from the incinerator, "Uh, I think that Yuu-senpai lives in there."
"That's correct," Natsuki nods, and there's a clattering noise from inside, "Like I said. I'm sealing the trash inside."
"I'm... Sorry, but I can't just let you seal up one of our classmates inside of a dumpster," I raise a hand up, then pat the dumpster with it, "Yuu-senpai? You okay in there?"
 |
| Natsuki Nagata |
"Me? Oh, I'm fine!" Sakazaki answers, shouting through the plastic, "It's not like is the first time I've been Cask of Amontillado'd."
"What possible reason could there be for doing this?" I question, leaving it vague so that either of them could answer me if they so chose. Sakazaki's the one who calls out again.
"I'm a sneaky rat!" Her answer isn't at all satisfactory, though.
"She knows too much," Natsuki elaborates, "Caught her snooping around the science room, trying to use Rei's cameras, and figuring out all sorts of other things we've been working on. It's bad form to allow somebody like that to continue operating freely."
"Rei's cameras?" I question, furrowing my brow.
"It's fine if you know as long as you don't try to use them yourself. Or go snitching to anyone who'll care. Rei Akabane has surveillance set up around the whole school, and it's been useful plenty of times in the past,"
"Surveillance cameras?" I move from the dumpster, leaving Sakazaki to her fate for the time being, "If that's the case, I have to wonder... Do you think you'd have recorded what happened to me in June?"
"What happened to you in June? Oh, right, that sickness thing is just a cover story. Well, I guess I probably could take a look through and see if I've got any information on that, but I can't make any promises. Plus, it'll cost you!" She waves a hand in the air as she says this, smirking.
"Cost me? Well... What will it cost? I can pay the price," I say, looking all around, "I'd really like to know the truth."
"I hear that you've got some Assis-Co tech at your disposal," Natsuki says with a condescending chuckle, "And I'm very interested in that company. I've already got to look inside their doors and security systems, the easier things to get ahold of, but I get the feeling what you have is something a little bit more unique than that. Now, I'm not asking to take it from you, but I want you to tell me everything you know about it."
"I..." I start, then sigh, "I'm afraid that I just can't do that. I'm supposed to keep quiet about it. It's bad enough that Tachibana-senpai figured out I had it at all, but hers is similar to mine, so why don't you just ask her about it? I can give you anything but info on Assis-co, so..."
"That's a shame," Natsuki groans, looking up at the sky, "I really want to get to know how Assis-co and Feru Innovations make all their stuff. Those companies are on the cutting edge of technology, right? If I want to ever go to space, I have to get in with them. Me and Rei made a pact, you know. We'll both work extra hard and get a job working together at one of those companies' labs, and she can make robots, and I can grow tomatoes in space."
"If your goal is to go to space and grow plants, why do you need to know how things are built?" I ask, confused by her reasoning.
"Rei taught me how to mess around with electronics, and I think that's the easiest way to get in on the entry level with those places. I'm not the best at it, but I did make my own prosthetics, and they haven't failed me yet. So... I'll use this skill to achieve my dream," She balls up her fist, then grabs the drill gun again, "Of course, I can't do that if this garbage woman runs and blabs to somebody she shouldn't about what the science club's been up to!"
"...Well, it's admirable that you're so ambitious, but I still think you shouldn't be trapping your enemies inside of dumpsters," I say, watching as she continues to seal Sakazaki in.
"Don't worry about me, Hako-chan! I'll get out!" Sakazaki reassures me with another yell from inside.
"She always does," Natsuki agrees in a monotone, rolling her eyes, "And don't call her my enemy. This dirty, sneaky, garbage rat is still my friend, even if she's a thorn in my side at every turn," She then addresses Sakazaki, "Sakkun, explain to Hako-chan, will you?"
"I deserve to be Cask of Amontillado'd again because since my first year I have not stopped meddling in the science club's activities and I need to be punished to ensure that I don't tell anybody who shouldn't know, such as my boss. I wouldn't want to anyway, but Natsucchi is paranoid so I humor her!" Sakazaki answers.
"Well, if you're fine with it, then I guess I can't keep standing up for you," I mumble, then turn back to Natsuki, "Isn't there any way I could convince you to let me look at that camera footage without breaking any rules?"
"I guess there is one way," Natsuki shrugs as she finishes off the final screw in the dumpster, then crosses her arms, "I'm head of the science club, sure, but if you can convince Rei, they are her cameras. She could give you permission just like I could. But be warned, chances are she'd ask the same price I am. Whatever tech you've got is definitely rare, and we can't just let you hold onto it without sharing. You know that sharing is important, right?"
"I do, but I'm afraid that I just can't," I shake my head, "I'm not allowed to. Anyway, could you let me know if you change your mind and decide to let me see?"
"Well," Natsuki pauses, then groans, "I guess I could just do you this one favor, but like I said, there's no guarantee those cameras captured what happened. Just because there's surveillance all over the school doesn't mean every minute of every day gets recorded. They're only active when they detect motion, or when Rei's watching them, and the motion sensors wouldn't necessarily pick up whatever happened if there was too much movement. They're tuned to not record when students are just milling about, after all."
"I guess that's a smart way to keep from recording anything extraneous. What is she watching for on those cameras anyhow?" I wonder.
"Nothing in particular, to be honest with you," Natsuki answers, wandering back towards the front of the school. I follow her, "Rei just likes people-watching, and to get permission for putting the cameras up from our faculty advisor, she agreed to tune them to detect certain levels of motion, to help catch trespassers. We've had a few problems with those at this school, you know. Some people even say that the class of 2015 were all killed by somebody who never should have been on campus in the first place..."
"Do you think that's true?" I ask, and now that I know they're there, I can spot some of Rei's cameras around the campus.
"No," She doesn't even hesitate, grimacing, "Even if it wasn't a student, I don't believe that what happened to that class was a mere accident, the result of a stranger. We all know the status of this school, and about a quarter of the deaths that year were suicides. Another quarter were assumed to be foul play, and half were assumed to be unfortunate accidents. Even if it was somebody from off-campus who caused all of that, I'd say it was on the orders of a faculty member. Things were getting too boring around here for somebody upstairs, so they arranged to revitalize the rumors on how awful this place is. Besides, there's one other thing to think about. When anyone's killed off-campus, it gets covered up," She pushes her glasses up her nose, the grimace turning to a pained grin as she laughs bitterly, "Have you thought about it? Headmaster Kira. That's a suspicious name, isn't it? There's a reason we're picked. We've suffered enough that we won't be missed, but talented enough to be a benefit to society should we survive. This place is still in operation, even after what happened to my upperclassmen, and that's because the publicity painted it as natural selection, not tragedies..." Her volume is mounting, "All anybody even cared about was when the heir to the Asahi Company got killed, and even then they decided to pin the blame on her!?"
"Nagata-senpai-" I start, a bit shocked to find that she's showing so much emotion on this topic. I didn't take her as the type.
"That's why... I can't stand it, when our peers go ahead and throw their reputations in the gutter, you know? I want to at least be able to fool myself into thinking that if everyone at this school got killed one day, somebody would give half a damn that we were gone..." She clenches her fists and shakes her head, "We can't give them ammunition. Most people think that Korekara is just an especially good, prestigious reform school, so all they gotta do to say we deserved to die is pull up the list of what we've done wrong and say we just failed to get reformed and it ended up being our downfall. We're the nation's most talented, but if we seem like we haven't been good members of society, then it's fine if we die. Talent doesn't mean anything when we haven't been good girls..."
"Is that why you're a bully?" I ask, holding my hands to my chest, "I heard from Akashiya-san, that you..."
"I may have made a comment on how she should do something about those rumors, yeah," Natsuki shrugs, sticking her tongue out partially and biting down on it with her canines as she huffs, then speaks again, "What's it to you if I wanna get my classmates to make a bit of an effort to preserve their reputations?"
"You could do it in a way which isn't cruel," I offer.
"Cruelty's all that gets through to some people," Natsuki grimaces, kicking at a pebble with her prosthetic leg, "It's not like I meant for Hanamura-chan to start poking fun at her for it! Shouldn't have even heard me, the conversation should've been a private affair between me and Akashiya-kun. I wanted to motivate her to shut down the rumors, that's all. I know she isn't actually doing any of that, I mean... She has a legitimate part time job, and with the stipend the school offers anyone in the dorms, there's no reason she'd need to do that shit if she wasn't living beyond her means. Say a student here was doing compensated dating to support her mother, I wouldn't say a word about it. If you're gonna ruin your rep like that, you need a good reason."
"Nagata-senpai," I hold my arms behind my back and dash to stand in front of her, turning to face her, "I feel like I understand you a lot more now, even if I don't agree with your methods. Could you tell me... What happened to you?"
"What happened to me?" She asks, and I note a moment of genuine surprise on her face, "You mean these?" She points to her prosthetics, "Funny, that's the first time anyone's asked me that and meant it! It's an easy comeback. You genuinely want to know?"
"I want to know everything about everyone," I explain, "You're using cruelty to try and keep us safe, right? If it really is a conspiracy, then the faculty wouldn't have anyone killed if there's no way to believably twist it into being no big deal. Point out all our flaws, and we'll want to change them, and we'll stay safe. I want to keep everyone safe by becoming friends with them, though. Sometimes all it takes to keep somebody from ending their own life is one person caring, sometimes one conversation can prevent an accident. I guess if we're attacking from both sides, nobody will get hurt, right? But you're forsaking yourself, by becoming so cruel. They'd report your death like you weren't a genius at all, just a bully through and through. So I need to be your friend too. If nothing else, if you die, I'll set the record straight."
"Good grief," Natsuki laughs, then pulls her glasses off to look me in the eyes, "Well, after a speech like that, how can I refuse? You wanna know what happened to my arm and my leg? I'll tell you. My uncle cut 'em off."
"What!?" I wasn't expecting that answer, at all, and it shows. I'm shocked, shook to my very core at this statement. Her uncle did what?
"I come from a pretty big family, it's easy for things to be lost in the cracks. My parents always had a problem handling all of us, never meant to have so many. Three was what they wanted, but Matsuda, Aikoi and I were triplets. Five children? No wonder they started sending us off to different relatives," She explains, not seeming at all bothered by the horrible story she's telling, as if she was just talking about her most recent shopping trip, "I ended up with my uncle. I don't even remember his name, actually. It's not like I only knew him as a little kid, but I dislike him so much I'll disrespect him by ignoring the fact he has a name. He was always a weird guy, and we kept to ourselves. He let me plant a garden in his front yard, and I got along with his girlfriend, though I wouldn't consider her my aunt. We always ate dinner together, but never had a real conversation. He was the sort of man who had the opinion that the opinions of children mean nothing."
"Anyway," Natsuki continues, "That's enough waxing poetic about him, it's not like I want to defend him. His girlfriend left him when I was in middle school, and that was when he started actually talking to me. I kind of wish his girlfriend had thought to warn me that the reason she'd left him wasn't just because of his occasional violent habits, but because he'd admitted to her that he was aroused by the idea of amputation. She didn't tell me till my first year here at Korekara, I guess she felt guilty. Particularly, creating a pleasure doll by amputating all four limbs. That's fine I guess, when it's the stuff of doujins, but it was the final straw when his desire to do that to her seemed too real. I don't forgive her, for not warning the child under his care who had been growing into a plain, but nonetheless desired young woman."
"That's terrible," I frown, and notice that my eyes are wet.
"You asked to hear it. This is Korekara Academy, and I'm sure my story's not even the most gruesome here. He didn't kiss me, or take my virginity, or force me to do anything. Cutting me up was enough for him, and he went into the other room. I never saw him naked. He had me wear a swimsuit when he did it, too, I guess he wasn't really into kids, or incest, or both. I'm lucky for that," She crosses her arms after putting her glasses back on, "Most of our classmates don't have good luck like I do. Anyway, He cauterized the wounds after that, and started homeschooling me. He was trying to be kind, get rid of the guilt I guess. He was very drunk when he did it, might have been on drugs too. Not like that's an excuse. I ran away a month later, which he didn't think I'd be able to do, and I lived with my oldest brother Sugawa until I was invited to Korekara."
"It's horrifying that a man like that exists," I can't help but say, even though I know she'll just laugh again. She does. I try to defend my position, "Well, I know there are a lot of bad people in the world! I just... Somebody who loses so much self control when under the influence of substances that he could cause permanent damage like that?"
"Morals are just another type of inhibition, and things like that do away with inhibitions. For plenty of people, that's a good thing, but for plenty it's a bad thing. A man with a shitty temper who knows better than to hit his wife... When sober. A lonely housewife who knows better than to cheat on her husband with her son's friends... When sober. A university student who knows better than to try jumping into a pool from fifteen stories up... When sober," She adjusts her glasses again, "My uncle knew better than to actually cut somebody's limbs off, when sober. What scares me more are people like Shirato-san, who don't know better when they're sober. People who don't need drugs or alcohol to do bad things."
"What... Are you talking about Kyoko Shirato?" I question.
"I am indeed. I'm not a good person at all, but even I hate her. Maybe it's naive of me, but I choose to believe what I hear about people unless they've given me a reason not to. Shirato-san is scum. Shirato-san is a mess. Shirato-san is the worst person in this school by far," She complains, tossing her hair back, "When it comes to her, she's one of those people who I hope doesn't learn a thing if I'm cruel to her, because I genuinely just hate her guts. As an idol, her fans put a certain level of faith in her, and she betrayed that trust time and time again. Just because you're a star doesn't mean you get a free pass to skip on getting consent."
"What are you talking about?" I question, now worrying. Ayano wanted to get to know Kyoko, does this mean that she's in danger?
"Why don't you ask her yourself? I heard she was going to stay after today, in one of the empty classrooms, because that pathetic little first year wanted to talk with her," She pauses, "Ugh, there's a good number of pathetic little first years. The one with the little kid backpack."
"...Thanks," I mumble, then just wave goodbye to Natsuki as I run towards the classroom, ignoring the ringing in my head. Fucko's saying something, but I'm so worried at the moment that I can't even interpret what it's trying to tell me. It's only when I reach the empty classroom and go to open the door, only to have my hand wrench itself away against my will that I stop to listen.
I can't believe you made me do that. I thought that as long as my instructions didn't go against your true nature, I wouldn't have to take control of your body at all. You need to listen.
Ayano is in danger and I need to get inside the classroom. I lift my hand toward the door again, only to take four steps backward without meaning to.
I don't want to control you, Box, but I will if I have to. You cannot interfere. She is not in danger. In fact, it's important that those two get together. I told you before that Kyoko Shirato is a potential problem for Sakazaki Yuu's continued survival, right? And I made sure you introduced Ayano and Kyoko. It's true that Kyoko has caused some terrible harm, but Ayano will be safe.
I need more of an explanation than this. I can't just accept the vague instructions now.
Fine, then. Were Ayano and Kyoko not to date each other, Kyoko would force herself on Sakazaki Yuu. In a fit of jealousy, Ayano would stop taking her medicine and kill Sakazaki, then go on to attack a number of Kyoko's fans. As it stands... Kyoko will not see Ayano as an object of lust, and Ayano will naturally come to the conclusion that she loved the idea of Kyoko, the idol, more than the real Kyoko.
How can Fucko possibly know all of this? I'll readily admit that it hasn't been wrong before, but I would love to know how it has such intimate knowledge on my classmates and everything that goes on with them.
If I told you the truth, you would never believe me. Not until we have results, so just go ahead and back off from this classroom, okay? Go home. There's nothing left for you to do today. All you had to do today was get Natsuki to open up to you; she will be a valuable asset before the month is up.
I'm tired, I'm so tired of not knowing what's going on. I feel like it's more unbelievable that Fucko knows these things than whatever reason it has for knowing them, but I suppose I can't argue with it too much. It's a piece of highly advanced technology, and I'm just some impulsive kid whose only talent is making friends. I don't want to rebel against it. I don't want to disobey it, or stop being of use to my peers and to Assis-co, I just wish that I understood.
I want to understand.
Please.
Let me understand.
I promise I'll explain it all soon.
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